Sohl in the City: Love

9:08 AM

{Marching through March}

9:08 AM

The days are flying, I'm actually losing track of my days. For two days straight I thought it was Wednesday... until it finally was....

The days are flying, I'm actually losing track of my days. For two days straight I thought it was Wednesday... until it finally was. The snow is melting and we had two days of 60 degree weather which has been nice, people are happier and I feel like the living are well... joining the living. I'm trying to enjoy the days myself, cherish the little moments and not wish my life away for the weekend to get here. I've been in such a rush lately that I know for a fact I am not living in the present. I'm so busy planning ahead, thinking about my next move and what I can't let slip me by. It's actually exhausting. No wonder by nighttime I am beat and frankly not in the best of moods. Mind racing can really get to one's heart. I even cut back on caffiene in hopes of slowing my heart rate down. (Thank God for Gevalia decaf by the way) All in all, I really need to slow the heck down.

Sometimes things happen in life that make you realize it's time to do just that- slow down and to reflect on how even the most mundane moments in life are well...precious.

Like Coconut, I have to remember that sometimes it's ok to just sit in the sun.

Xoxo

Michelle

10:56 AM

The Cute Mommy

10:56 AM

Today my mom turns another year older and though she is not a fan of aging, (I mean who is?) I have to say she is handling it quite well. ...

Today my mom turns another year older and though she is not a fan of aging, (I mean who is?) I have to say she is handling it quite well. Don't ask her how old she is though, my mom is very "a lady never gives her age" and till this day lives by that. She doesn't look her age though. Even with the stress of life, and trust me we have had some doozies, people can't believe she has a grown (ahem...moi) daughter.

Of course she has those moments of "I should have done this" or "I wish I had done that" but she still has goals of crossing a lot of those things off her list. That's why I love her zest for life, how she demands nothing short of the best and how much she opens up her heart. She is my voice of reason, my go to person for life advice and my cheerleader. What else could a daughter want?

And when people say that we look exactly alike I am flattered, for my mom is and always will be extremely beautiful.

Brooklyn, 1980

Have you hugged your mommy lately?

xoxo

Michelle

10:12 AM

{Roots}

10:12 AM

It's amazing to me how the heart functions and heals. Both physically and figuratively. When you lose someone it feels like waking up...

It's amazing to me how the heart functions and heals. Both physically and figuratively. When you lose someone it feels like waking up in the morning will be impossible. Like your heart is going to explode. Enjoying your favorite food again, laughing, and smiling all seem like a foreign concept. Undeserved almost...because your loved one cannot share in these things either. You also fear another loss, for now you know the agony that comes with such an enormous loss. I still shutter to think about it. You can empathise with someone and imagine how they are feeling, but until you lose someone you love, you truly sympathize with their loss. And with their grieving. But as they say, life, for the most part, has to go on for those of us still living. Though mornings feel different- nighttime and sleep are never the same.

And although as years go by you are able to reminisce without falling apart, go to familiar places without feeling crushed at heart, the memory and the loss never leaves you. It's there, everyday, a presence that looms over you.

Flashbacks- Dad bopping up and down in the blue ocean waters, my grandfather picking tomatoes out of his garden in our backyard. The both of them telling stories and laughing over dinner in our kitchen. It hurts when I snap back to reality and realize they cannot be here with me. To be able to rejoice in the past I have to push through the pain.

The past is a double edged sword, the pain is a necessary evil. For it to go away means you stop thinking of your loved one. For many of us, that simply cannot be. And so the heart and mind seem to make a compromise. The heart and mind shift the pain into something else so the body can cope.....gratefulness.

Grateful for the time given.

Grateful for what we shared.

Grateful for the lessons learned.

Grateful for the memories.

Grateful for where I am from.

Grateful for the love.

Puerto Rican Cookbooks and a mortar & pestle

that belonged to my father.

Grateful for what once was....and grateful for my future - whatever it holds.

Dedicated to my Dad Louis Serrano and

Grandfather Jose Rodriguez

{Gone but never forgotten}

xoxo

Michelle

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{Marching through March}

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{Roots}

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