Saturday, November 15, 2014

{November Rain}

Each year ever since 2007 I dread the month of November.  Not only does it mean October has passed and both Coconut and I are both a year older, but it also means the coming of the anniversary of my father's death.  He died November 16, 2007...and now in a cruel twist my grandmother has passed away in the same month. Yesterday, shortly before 4pm she fell asleep in death after a long battle with lung cancer.  Ironically, the cancer did not kill her, it was an infection that she caught from being in the hospital so long that eventually weakened her heart.  I feel such sadness for her but also for my mother and uncle who could not make it to the hospital in time to see her before she passed away.  Even though they have been by her side day and night for the past 6 months, the one day that they did not want my grandmother to be alone was the one day that escaped them.  My grandmother died holding her nurse's hand.  My grandfather died the same way, and it makes me sad that we could not be there for them for their last breath.  The one thing that I will never forget is listening to my dad's heart beat as it slowed down.  I layed my head on his chest and stayed with him till he was no longer here.  I was able to do that because he was on life support though, but when people die from sickness or natural causes it is much harder to make sure you are with them.  Death is so unpredictable. It is truly our enemy, striking when it knows it can hurt people the most.  It's sneaky and selfish.  I long for the days when death will be no more.

If it wasn't for my faith I don't know how I would have made it through these years after losing my loved ones.  I'm sure I will be needing a lot of strength and faith these next few weeks and months, supporting my grieving family.  It's because of our faith though that we can get out of bed in the morning.  The human heart and mind is so resilient.  It will take a while, but I am confident that one day we will not feel as much pain as we do now.  Until then...we have to deal with the November rain. 

Xoxo
Michelle 

1 comment:

  1. You are stronger than you think... Holiday lights will be up soon, let them ease the sorrow. xxoo

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