I recently became a freelance makeup artist for Chanel, which if that isn't dangerous in itself, leaves me with more money burning a hole in my pocket. The latest Chanel collection is to die for, (rich and vibrant hues and shadow sticks that take you from sweet girly girl for day to sexy vixen by night).  I forced myself to leave the store without buying a thing once my appointments ended - but that won't last long, trust me I am making my list.  And if that wasn't bad enough I found the cutest kitchen and dining items at Anthro over the weekend.  I was pretty tempted to just move right into the store.  Cheeky measuring cups and spoons, dainty plates and a rolling pin that would make me want to bake every day.

And so... My list got even longer.  What I did buy (after trying and falling in love with) was the mascara of all mascaras. And the name says it all...Better Than Sex.  Yep. That's what it's called. And rightly so.  My lashes never looked so happy.

Priorities, bills, food. These are things we need to set aside the bulk of our paychecks for. So the voice in my head tells me. However, the little voice screaming from my heart is saying entirely different things. LOUBOUTIN, BLAHNIK, CHOO...I know what I should be spending my money on. Why is it such a battle within my heart? And more importantly - why do I suffer the dreaded Shoe Shame? You know - Shoe Shame- that guilty feeling for not only spending an obscene amount of money on shoes that you should not have spent, but (worse) the desire for it. And wondering what others would think if they knew? Would they think I was selfish?  Crazy?  A shopaholic?  (Well...we kind of established that already haven't we?)  Seriously though.  There are some people that are trying to pay their rent, mortgage, insurance, etc... and others are shopping needlessly - frivolously.  It does not feel right or even fair.   And trust me - I am one of the ones who should NOT be spending frivolously. 

So I am being a better person.  A big girl I say, and instead of buying - I am dreaming...and you know what?  I learned that if I stare long and hard enough, I can almost feel the heels on my feet, see them living in their pretty little boxes in my closet.  You know, like how they say you can lose your desire for junk food if you imagine yourself gorging on it?  Yeah it sort of like that.  It kind of works...Because then I think about all the other shoes sitting in my closet, some who have not seen the light of day in months.  So I think to myself...I don't have to have these, they are just going to add to my closet collection.  And the amazing starts to happen.  I start to rethink my desire and I focus my attention elsewhere.  Snap out of it.  There are more important things in life than shoes!!!  And I almost don't feel the need to buy.

(Almost...) I'm really working on it.

Manolo Blahnik Crystal BB Satin Pumps

 

Jimmy Choo Abel Pump

Christian Louboutin Pluminette Satin Platform Sandals         P.S. For those who cannot relate to this post, please don't judge.                      There are shoe addicts all around you.                                  You just don't know it...                                     Till next time                                           xoxo                                        Michelle